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Lovin' Her

By: Paola B.

instagram: @princesitasees

twitter: @PrincesitaSays


She comes from a household where looks were always a topic of conversation. She
was molded with the mindset that the way she presents herself to the outside world
says the most about the person that she is – inside and out.

Her parents always made sure to keep her well “groomed and cleaned up,” and as
she grew up she continued to make that a priority in her days. She’d wake up a little
earlier than she really had to just to make sure her outfit was cute enough, that her
hair was well combed and she looked put together. She went and goes through her
days worrying about her weight, sense of style and how attractive she seems to
others… She always mentions this to build up into this phase of her life: learning
about lovin’ her.

It’s been a long yet short 25 years of her life. But she often feels as if she wasn’t good
enough, pretty enough, or simply just enough for the people around her.

Not a good enough friend
nor a perfect daughter and sibling
never a good girlfriend…
She always compared herself to every beautiful girl she encountered.

Body image positivity isn’t her strongest area ‘cause she still has work to do, but
everyday she’s reminding herself that this is who she is, how she’s built is okay and
the best part about it is that she doesn’t meet those beauty standards this society
has created.

The way her heart is set up, it’s definitely bigger than her jean size. Her hair might
fall down her back but her self-conscious lives high over her head. She wears
makeup because it helps her cover up the flaws on her tinted skin. She accessorizes
like it’s the death of her because it’s hard for her to be her bare self 24 hours a day
and 7 days a week.

She’s not perfect; but she takes her chances.

And though, 25 years in she’s not in complete infatuation with herself – she
appreciates every stretch mark, she hugs her few curves and she smiles even though
her double chin makes an appearance here and there. She’s perfectly flawed and
that’s something she’s learning to live with.

Ma and Pa always have their best intentions, so she stands with a tainted self-
esteem because her physical reined over the real her for so long… But here she is; a
work in progress to an almost masterpiece still’ learning to be in love with herself.

…and I’ll continue to look at her every morning reminding her she’s worth it, ‘cause
that girl just so happens to be me.