we fall down, we get up
It seems like everyone is depressed nowadays, and even less people know how to help.
I like to consider myself your semi-stereotypical, mid-20's, depressed person.
I am currently going through a life crisis about my career, I hate my body, my relationship of almost 10 years just failed miserably and my family is a dysfunctional wreck.
But to top it all off, not a single person in my life knows what to say to me.
Often times, I feel vulnerable and super sensitive to what others have to say.
I cry a lot, randomly, and I don’t know how to stop it from coming on at times.
And honestly, sans depressive state, I wouldn’t know what to do with someone like me either. When people cry to me, I kind of awkwardly coddle them, if not burst out into tears of my own.
So now what? Where does my sad ass go from here?
If you suffer from depression (or you think you are and you’re not sure), if I can give you any advice at all, this is it:
The world sucks, and life sucks, often, and the people in your life are not responsible for your happiness, and through the suckiness that is life, only YOU can find a way to drag your own ass out of the funk.
I have highs and lows, some days I feel like I can take over the world and other days, I can’t leave my bed. I just kind of sulk and think about my woes and lay in them. But on those low days, I try to be better than my last low day. And every time I feel down, I try to improve on myself even if it’s just a touch. Get out of bed after that extra hour instead of 3 hours. Do something that you love for a moment, just so you can have a day that included a drop of happiness for you. Try your best to refocus your life and energy away from the negative and focus on all the things you can be grateful for that others can’t.
And trust me I know; this shit is not easy. I am still stuck in bed some mornings.
I still have a difficult time looking at my own reflection because I don’t see much of anything I like about myself, but I still freaking try.
As I write this, I am crying about another family situation that has been keeping me down for YEARS and for some reason I thought, “fuck it, maybe I should write this down.”
I can’t be the only person feeling like they're alone in this, and if this letter means nothing else, I hope you know, whoever you are, that I am just like you and you are not alone.
Hey, it’s okay to cry some days, but its not okay to allow your circumstance to destroy you. It’s okay to hit rock bottom, so long as you try to get that ass right back up. It is a daily battle for me to simply function and I know how embarrassing that is to talk about at times. I don’t have depressed friends, but I hope I can be yours.